I am consumed by these, these things . . . called feelings.
They guide me.
They keep me warm and fuzzy on the inside.
They keep me safe.
They help me to understand.
And Confuse me beyond all belief.
My heart aches for you,
at the strangest times,
only sometimes,
and yet all the time.
Now, Yesterday, and I'm sure Forever!
I can't escape them, they are around every bend in the road,
and corner in the wall.
Just waiting,
waiting for me to move.
To move into you,
or be lost.
Either way it is a
Forever situation.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
School
School has started
everything is different this year,
teachers,
classes,
friends,
study corners,
job,
room.
Moving to campus was exciting
and a tad frightening.
It's been good, but weird.
Good because my mod mates were all almost instant friends,
Weird because I have not had a room mate since I was
12.
The Teachers are so nice I think it's been a few years since I had teachers so nice.
The Classes are hard but that's a good thing right?
The Friends are few but good and growing.
Good Study corners for me have yet to be discovered, but not far in the future.
The Job isn't bad, just not my future.
And the Room, not that big, but comfortable, and shared.
All in all
School is where I'm supposed to be.
Thank you for for showing that to me.
everything is different this year,
teachers,
classes,
friends,
study corners,
job,
room.
Moving to campus was exciting
and a tad frightening.
It's been good, but weird.
Good because my mod mates were all almost instant friends,
Weird because I have not had a room mate since I was
12.
The Teachers are so nice I think it's been a few years since I had teachers so nice.
The Classes are hard but that's a good thing right?
The Friends are few but good and growing.
Good Study corners for me have yet to be discovered, but not far in the future.
The Job isn't bad, just not my future.
And the Room, not that big, but comfortable, and shared.
All in all
School is where I'm supposed to be.
Thank you for for showing that to me.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Crash
have you ever gone so fast for so long that there is nothing left?
do you know what it's like to be so exhausted that all you want to do is cry?
i'm sure you do.
or how about that feeling that you have let someone down because you were so exhausted you didn't realize you weren't keeping up? or that your current best isn't good enough, and not anywhere close to what it was.
this isn't a pity party, i'm just saying how i feel.
and how i feel is that i'm about to crash like right on the edge so close to the breaking point that i can almost taste the tears
and there's nothing i can do about it
do you know what it's like to be so exhausted that all you want to do is cry?
i'm sure you do.
or how about that feeling that you have let someone down because you were so exhausted you didn't realize you weren't keeping up? or that your current best isn't good enough, and not anywhere close to what it was.
this isn't a pity party, i'm just saying how i feel.
and how i feel is that i'm about to crash like right on the edge so close to the breaking point that i can almost taste the tears
and there's nothing i can do about it
Monday, April 12, 2010
Selfish?
I float back and forth between
Anger, and pity.
It leaves me confused, frustrated, and sad.
I try not to be mad, and try to understand why, but you have given me nothing.
If officially I knew, then I could ask.
But would you tell me?
Or would you blame me?
Am I the reason?
Or is there more to the story?
Every time I think about it, I start out mad at you.
Why did you do it?
From my side it almost seems selfish, but there has to be more to it.
Right?
I wanted things to slow down, not speed up.
Your actions have done just that to me. The have sped everything up.
I'm going so fast I don't know how long I can last.
I want to scream.
Anger, and pity.
It leaves me confused, frustrated, and sad.
I try not to be mad, and try to understand why, but you have given me nothing.
If officially I knew, then I could ask.
But would you tell me?
Or would you blame me?
Am I the reason?
Or is there more to the story?
Every time I think about it, I start out mad at you.
Why did you do it?
From my side it almost seems selfish, but there has to be more to it.
Right?
I wanted things to slow down, not speed up.
Your actions have done just that to me. The have sped everything up.
I'm going so fast I don't know how long I can last.
I want to scream.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
?
Two jobs
One me.
Three classes
One me.
New job
Same me.
New School
Me scared.
Two old friends
One me.
Two places to be
Still one me.
Where I wanna be
Is that where I'll be?
Is it where You want me to be?
One me.
Three classes
One me.
New job
Same me.
New School
Me scared.
Two old friends
One me.
Two places to be
Still one me.
Where I wanna be
Is that where I'll be?
Is it where You want me to be?
WOW
Oh goodness!
how can the words
"would like to inform you that you have been accepted"
cause so much chaos?
they make a grade mean something,
they make it necessary to pass,
not only pass but graduate.
they bring joy,
and confusion,
and fear.
fear that had been overcome six years ago rushes back
but they also mean growth,
and stretching,
and finding hidden strength.
how can the words
"would like to inform you that you have been accepted"
cause so much chaos?
they make a grade mean something,
they make it necessary to pass,
not only pass but graduate.
they bring joy,
and confusion,
and fear.
fear that had been overcome six years ago rushes back
but they also mean growth,
and stretching,
and finding hidden strength.
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