Selfish?

I float back and forth between
Anger, and pity.

It leaves me confused, frustrated, and sad.

I try not to be mad, and try to understand why, but you have given me nothing.

If officially I knew, then I could ask.
But would you tell me?
Or would you blame me?
Am I the reason?
Or is there more to the story?

Every time I think about it, I start out mad at you.
Why did you do it?

From my side it almost seems selfish, but there has to be more to it.
Right?

I wanted things to slow down, not speed up.
Your actions have done just that to me. The have sped everything up.
I'm going so fast I don't know how long I can last.

I want to scream.

?

Two jobs
One me.

Three classes
One me.

New job
Same me.

New School
Me scared.

Two old friends
One me.

Two places to be
Still one me.

Where I wanna be

Is that where I'll be?

Is it where You want me to be?

WOW

Oh goodness!

how can the words
"would like to inform you that you have been accepted"
cause so much chaos?

they make a grade mean something,
they make it necessary to pass,
not only pass but graduate.

they bring joy,
and confusion,
and fear.

fear that had been overcome six years ago rushes back

but they also mean growth,
and stretching,
and finding hidden strength.